“Intelligent Design”, or “Creationism”, is gaining popularity every day. Now get ready for these exciting educational revolutions!
My research agrees with this conclusion…
By “study and learn” they mean “am baffled by the complexity.”
And by “offers a much more satisfactory interpretive framework” they mean “is much easier for me to understand without actually having to think and it reaffirms the fact that I am a special snowflake rather than the product of trial and error with no purpose other than to reproduce and not die.”
My wife had a chiropractor appointment this past Wednesday. I came with her so I could watch our 3 week old son while she was adjusted and had her exam. Linus, my son, was being fussy, so I was walking around and swaying him, and eventually calmed him down enough to sit down. Shortly after that, this older gentleman, maybe in his 50’s or 60’s came over by me. This was our exchange, paraphrased as best as I can.
Older gentleman: Oh good job dad! How old is he?
Me: Just a little over 3 weeks old
OG: I remember when my daughter was born, it was the most amazing thing! I saw her and I just knew that there had to be a Maker.
I smile politely, but say nothing. At this point my wife has come back over. I should add that my wife and I are both agnostic, but certainly don’t take the existence of aesthetically pleasing things as proof of a higher being.
OG: It’s just so amazing when you look at them, or even that spine they’ve got around here (referring to a fullsize model of the human spine), and you think ‘How could that come from some slime or whatever?’ (I guess that was his dig at evolution, a concept of which he is obviously extremely knowledgeable about)
Me & Wife: …….. (Still smiling politely, but uneasily)
OG: What a joke, eh?
Me & Wife: …….. (Still smiling politely, but getting annoyed. We both made an effort to not actually utter any real words like “yeah” that would confirm that his beliefs were not, in fact, retarded. I think one of us might said something like “heyehmm”.)
The guy went away. I assumed he had left.
Me, to Linus who I am holding: Linus, one of the most important lessons you will learn in life is the “Smile & Nod”
Then I realized the guy was still very close by. I don’t know if he heard me or not, but I felt better anyway.
Seriously, who the fuck does that? I don’t go up to random strangers and say “Oh man, can you believe that people go to church and pray? What a joke, eh?” I don’t know, maybe there was something about my thrift store plaid shirt, baseball cap, khakis, and Sauconys that just screamed “This young fellow is clearly a Young Earth Creationist!” instead of “This young fellow is a hipster dad who can’t stand religious old people!”
Smile and nod! Smile and nod! Even if you feel like you’re almost going to get an aneurism.
I prefer the Eyebrow-cock and Bemused Smirk.